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That Stinking Feeling

Story Editors: Mark McCorkle and Robert Schooley
Written by: Bruce Reid Schaefer
© Disney 1994

Transcript by Shiera

See more screencapsText-only transcript

 

(Setting: The desert. Carpet is flying around with Iago relaxed on top of him. Abu is hanging off the back of Carpet screeching as he holds on.)

Iago: First Abu, I'm gonna buy some satin slippers. No more hot sand between these toes. Then with the rest of the treasure? A palace. Not too flashy. I'll call it the Taj...I'll think of a word.

(Carpet stops abruptly when he notices something ahead causing Iago and Abu to go flying face first into the sand.)

Iago: HEY!

(Carpet looks to an area covered with giant thorny plants and vines, and runs back the way he came to cower behind a near-by rock. Iago and Abu emerge from the sand. Iago is spitting sand out of his mouth and Abu is placing his fez back on his head.)

Iago: A warning would be nice.

(Abu screeches and shakes his fist at Carpet. The camera pans to the right to show some of the smaller vines from the area are now making their way towards Iago and Abu without them noticing. Abu dusts himself off and heads towards carpet off-screen to the right.)

Iago: You know, something like "Hey, we're coming to a spine-mangling stop!"

(Iago looks to his right and the vines that were inching closer to him have now stopped moving.)

Iago: Wait, this is it! The Forbidden Oasis! Come on, our riches await!

(Carpet joins Abu, who both look unsure about entering the oasis while Iago hovers above them.)

Iago: Look, I know it's called the Forbidden Oasis, but that's just to keep the people out and the treasure in. It's not really forbidden. You see a sign?

(Carpet shakes his head 'no' in resilience and turns his back towards Iago, making an "arms" crossed position.)

Iago: Meh, chicken rug.

(Iago goes over to Abu, who also has his arms folded.)

Iago: Come on, we're gonna be rich.

(The small vines from earlier are now tickling Abu's feet. Abu crouches down to examine them, which now appear to be lifeless again. Abu scratches his head in confusion while Iago grabs Abu by the vest using his feet to pick him up off the ground. Abu screeches.)

Iago: What you need is a bird's eye view!

(Iago and Abu fly over the oasis, looking down at all the vines and greenery until they spot a giant golden ring attached to an area in the oasis. Abu's eyes widen as he licks his lips and flails in excitement in the air.)

Iago: Ha, ha, now you're talking! Monkey gibberish, but I'll take it as a big "yes".

(Iago flies to the giant ring, letting Abu down. Some of the larger vines in the oasis come to life and grab the two of them mid-air. One wraps itself around Iago's body and beak, and the other around Abu, pulling them deeper into the thorny bed of vines. The two struggle to get free.

Carpet hears their struggling and flies over to save them, grabbing Abu out by his tail. Abu also is grabbing ahold of Iago's beak in the process.)

Iago: You're pulling my head off! But don't let go!

(Finally, Carpet manages to pull Abu and Iago out, and the three of them go sailing through the air backwards out of the oasis.)


(Setting: Outside the palace. The camera pans over to the left columns and cuts to Aladdin, who is storming up some stairs with Genie following behind.)

Aladdin: Why would Abu and Iago just take off without telling me, Genie? And how'd they talk Carpet into going?

Genie: Hmm, magic carpet's missing, too?

(Genie transforms himself into a detective and begins to write on a notepad.)

Genie: Would you describe this as a late model carpet, sir? Did you leave the keys in it? How long have you known the monkey?

(Aladdin has finally reached the top of the stairs where he knocks once on a large wooden door. Jasmine emerges and hurries past him.)

Jasmine: Hi, Aladdin! Bye, Aladdin!

(Jasmine passes Genie on the stairs.)

Genie: Where's the fire, ma'am?

Aladdin: Yeah, Jasmine, wait up!

(Aladdin chases after Jasmine down the stairs.)

Aladdin: Aren't we going to the marketplace?

(Jasmine stops and makes a thoughtful look.)

Jasmine: Strange, I don't remember you asking me for a date.

(Jasmine continues on her way, leaving Aladdin on the stairs puzzled. He begins talking to himself.)

Aladdin: It's marketplace day. I always take her to the marketplace on marketplace day.

(Genie shows up with his notepad a moment later.)

Genie: Mmhmm. I see a pattern.

(Aladdin rolls his head at Genie in annoyance and continues down the stairs to chase after Jasmine. Jasmine has stopped and turned around to talk to Aladdin.)


Jasmine:
Well, maybe I've made other plans since you didn't ask me.

Aladdin: Ask? But I always take you!

Jasmine: Take me for granted.

(Genie shows up again a moment later.)


Genie:
Checked out her room. She's clean.

(Aladdin goes after Jasmine again who is now outside the palace.)

Aladdin: So, let me get this straight. You want me to ask...in advance?

(Suddenly, Carpet comes hurling towards Aladdin and Jasmine, causing Jasmine to duck and Aladdin to move out the way. Genie quickly condenses himself into his detective hat to avoid being hit. A loud crash is heard off camera as Genie's head emerges from the hat to see what happened. Iago and Abu are coughing and trying to shake off the impact of the crash while standing.)


Aladdin:
Okay, where have you been?

Iago: Been? Have we, uh, been somewhere?

(Abu and Iago shake their heads 'no' trying to look as innocent as possible. A loud animal noise is heard off-camera, and Iago and Abu look at each other.)

Abu: Uh oh...

(Iago and Abu hide behind Aladdin, Iago inside of Aladdin's vest and Abu right behind him on the outside of Aladdin's vest. A loud pounding noise is heard in the background. Iago's head emerges right over Aladdin's shoulder.)

Iago: They're coming to get us!

Aladdin: Who?!

Iago: Uh, nobody, uhh...but if you should happen to see any, uh, you know, killer plant thingies, I'm in a meeting.

Jasmine: Look! It's...it's...

(From the marketplace, a crowd of people are gathering around an entrance to find out what the noise is. The scene cuts back to Jasmine at the palace.)

Jasmine: ...what is it?

(Back in the marketplace, the people are running away from what is revealed to be a giant gray yak. The yak is shown using its tail to hit a mallet against two green drums that are being carried on either side of its lower back as it walks through the city carrying a large man. The yak passes some lined up camels with a foul odor that causes each one of them to pass out and topple sideways like standing dominoes. The yak also passes some palm trees that curl up their leaves as the smell hits them. The yak has made its way up the stairs of the palace to where Aladdin, Abu and Iago are standing, and so has the smell. They all grimace.)


Aladdin:
Ugh!

Iago: Ow, what stinks?

Abu: Pee-yew!

(Genie turns himself into a fly and joins a group of swarming flies that are near the yak in the air.)

Genie: This guy's got quite a following!

(Aladdin, Jasmine, Abu and Iago are all holding their noses as the smell surrounds them. The yak stops in front of them and camera pans up to full reveal the man on top of the yak.)

Uncouthma: Ho, there! I seek the fair Princess Jasmine.

Jasmine: I...am Jasmine.

(Uncouthma's moustache twirls itself sideways upon looking at Jasmine.)

Uncouthma: Oh, fate is kind!

(Uncouthma jumps off his yak, which causes the yak to bounce in the air for a second before landing on its feet again. Uncouthma approaches Jasmine and bows.)

Uncouthma: I am Uncouthma. Prince of the far off land of Odeferious.

(Uncouthma returns back to his yak to grab one of the bags hanging off the yak. Meanwhile, Aladdin, Iago and Abu are laughing to themselves. Jasmine catches them and glares, but the three quickly act as if they were doing nothing. Jasmine folds her arms in annoyance at them.)

Uncouthma: Now I perform the cheese ritual of love!

Iago: (smacking his forehead) That's it! Call a guard!

(Uncouthma returns back to Jasmine, who is covering her nose with her hands, with a glob of cheese that is found to be the culprit of the smell.)

Uncouthma: By this tossing of ancient cheese, I pledge my heart muscle, and all other vital organs, to you.

(Uncouthma begins to do a dance that includes some ballet moves along with the splits while Aladdin, Jasmine, Abu, Iago and Carpet watch on in disbelief. Uncouthma then ends the dance by throwing the lump of smelly cheese to Jasmine's feet. He goes back towards her and bows once more.)

Uncouthma: Would you like to begin our royal courtship today?

(Aladdin upon hearing this is not pleased and confronts Uncouthma.)

Aladdin: Sorry, pal, but this princess is taken!

(Jasmine upon hearing that is also not pleased and jerks Aladdin back around.)

Jasmine: This princess can think for herself!

(She heads towards Prince Uncouthma, who is happily awaiting while holding his hat in his hands.)

Jasmine: Welcome to Agrabah, Prince Uncouthma. Come, meet my father, the sultan.

(Upon dragging Uncouthma by the arm towards the door, Jasmine swings over towards Aladdin and talks to him quietly.)

Jasmine: At least he knows how to ask what a girl wants.

(Abu, Carpet and Iago are watching the scene in front of them unfold.)

Abu: Uh oh...

(Uncouthma and Jasmine are about to pass the three before Uncouthma stops, picks Jasmine up, and tosses her over his right shoulder.)

Uncouthma: Let us go! Ha, ha!

(Jasmine screams a little as they head inside. Uncouthma walks on top of Carpet as Abu and Iago are able to get out the way. Abu goes to assist Carpet and screeches and shakes his fist at Uncouthma for trampling him. Aladdin sees the door closing and tries to catches it before it closes, but instead hits the door and falls down onto Carpet.)

Aladdin: Wait, what just happened here?

(Genie, who is still a fly from earlier, comes over to Aladdin.)

Genie: You just put those size 8 sandals in your size 10 mouth.

(Genie proceeds to put his own foot in his mouth and falls down the screen.

Inside, the Sultan is on the floor of the throne room winding up a golden camel toy. Jasmine's voice can be heard in the background calling for him.)


Jasmine:
Ahem, father!

(The Sultan pushes the camel he just wound up and several others to get them moving.)

Sultan: Come on! Come on! Find some water now, camel. Go on! Fill your humps!

(The toy camels walk until they hit the foot of Uncouthma's boot and topple over. The sultan watches as a giant lump of smelly cheese is tossed in front of him on the floor. Jasmine is again heard in the background as the sultan is now covering his nose.)

Jasmine: Father!

(The sultan looks up and sees Jasmine's legs hanging over Uncouthma's shoulder.)

Sultan: Oh, dear! Jasmine?

(Uncouthma places Jasmine to the ground to speak to the sultan.)

Uncouthma: I am Uncouthma of Odieferious, here to court the princess of Agrabah.

(Uncouthma whistles for his yak in a loud piercing noise that causes Jasmine and the sultan to cover their ears. The yak comes racing through the doors and stops in front of Uncouthma panting.)

Uncouthma: Good, yak.

(Jasmine steps back behind her father, who is still sitting on the floor.)

Uncouthma: Sultan, I bring you magnificent gifts from my homeland.

(Uncouthma approaches Sultan with a white bag, and stops to smell it before handing it over to him.)

Uncouthma: Thousand year old pickled vultures eggs, ooh.

Sultan: My, I didn't know pickled vultures could lay eggs!

Uncouthma: Treasures from our royal mold and mildew garden!

(A shower of smelly gray plants is dumped upon the sultan and he pops his head up through it. Jasmine talks to him from behind the pile to explain.)

Jasmine: A late suitor. He's harmless...I think.

(Genie is outside plucking petals from a flower while Aladdin paces back and forth in front of a fountain.)

Genie: She loves him, she loves him not, she loves him, she loves him not...

Aladdin: He'll be leaving any minute now. (gasp) Did I say something so wrong?

Genie: Said something so wrong, said something so wrong not, said something so wrong, said something so wrong not...

Aladdin: Yeah, she'll be showing him the door!...am I the big jerk here?


Genie:
You're the big jerk here, you're the big jerk here not, you're the big jerk here, you're the big jerk here not....

(The camera cuts to Iago and Abu near-by with some pink tulips. Abu is swinging a sword at the flowers, but missing. Iago ducks to prevent from being hit.)

Iago: OK, if you wanna get the gold ring, you gotta practice. Give it a "ha" slice! "Ho" cut!

(Abu picks up the sword again and begins to chop the flowers frantically.)

(Aladdin is sitting down looking sad while Genie is still plucking petals.)

Genie: The princess will come crawling back to you...

(Genie appears on camera with a flower that has one last petal.)

Genie: The princess will come crawling back to you...not.

(The camera goes back to Iago and Abu.)

Iago: Come on! You've got an opposable thumb! Use it!

(Abu chops the top of the flowers off in one swing.)


(Genie is now trying to comfort an even sadder Aladdin.)

Genie: Oh, I'm sure there's another petal here somewhere!

(The petals from Abu's flower chopping sprinkle down on Aladdin and Genie after a slicing noise is heard in the background. Aladdin parts two bushes to find Iago and Abu behind them.)

Aladdin: What are you two up to?

(Abu places the sword behind his back, and both he and Iago stand up straight and give huge smiles.)

Iago: Up to? Um, what? We can't do a little much needed gardening without twenty questions?

(The yak from earlier shows up behind Iago and bites his tail feathers off while grazing. Iago flies upwards and examines his exposed skin.)

Iago: That hurt.

(When the yak moves, we see Uncouthma with some large wooden poles.)

Aladdin: He's setting up camp? He's staying?

(Uncouthma sets a giant pole into the ground slamming it down hard. Aladdin, Genie, and Iago head over to Uncouthma, who is still placing giant wooden poles into the ground with his bare hands.)

Aladdin: Uncouthma!


(Upon hearing his name called, Uncouthma swings around towards Aladdin while carrying a pole on his shoulder, which ends up hitting Iago and sends him flying into a tree.)

Iago: That hurt.

(Uncouthma goes back to placing poles into the ground and Aladdin marches over to him.)

Aladdin: Um, listen, regardless of what the princess is saying to you, she's my girl. Really.

Uncouthma: Well that is unfortunate...

Aladdin: Yes it is, but I did get here first, and—

Uncouthma: No, because I mean we must battle to the death! But first I must prepare victory cheese!

(Aladdin heads back to Genie)

Aladdin: Genie, I can't fight this guy!

Genie: You're right! Not looking like that!

(Genie changes Aladdin into boxing attire, complete with huge boxing gloves. Genie looks Aladdin over.)

Genie: Nah, too low-tech.

(He zaps Aladdin again, and changes his outfit into a space-suit complete with a laser beam gun. Aladdin accidentally pulls the trigger and the gun starts to shoot off white beams that go in several directions, one of which takes Genie's head off.)

Genie: (without a head) Hmm, too high-tech.

(Genie pulls a new head out of his body and zaps Aladdin back to normal.)


Aladdin:
Well, this is for Jasmine.

(Aladdin marches over to Uncouthma, but Genie stops him.)

Genie: Just remember two things. (Genie now has a moustache and collar reminiscent of Shakespeare) "Faint heart ne'er won fair maiden."

(Uncouthma is walking towards them with two giant spiked maces. Genie's jaw hangs for a second before he picks it up, and makes a brown bag appear.)

Genie: (pulling out a long sheet of paper with a blue ribbon at the end of it) And maybe now's the time to consider a comprehensive life insurance package!

(Aladdin walks over to Uncouthma while Abu and Iago watch from the ground.)

Iago: Oh, yeah, he's dead.

(Abu places his fez over Iago's head in reaction to his comment, and folds his arms in annoyance.)


Uncouthma:
Now, we begin!

(Uncouthma tosses a mace to Aladdin, who upon catching it falls backwards due to its weight. He struggles to pick the mace back up.)

Genie: Here, let me help.

(Genie zaps the mace to make it easier for Aladdin to lift up, which does help, but as soon as Genie stops zapping the mace, it becomes heavy again and Aladdin drops the mace backwards onto Genie's head. This smashes him into the ground.)

Genie: Whoa, that's a big mace.

(Aladdin picks up the mace and tries to strike Uncouthma, but comes just short of hitting him. Uncouthma takes his turn to swing, but Jasmine is heard in the background.)

Jasmine: Stop!

(Uncouthma hides his mace behind his back.)

Uncouthma: But I haven't done anything yet!

(Jasmine appears on screen)

Jasmine: I will not allow this. Put your weapons down.

(Genie appears out of a hole in the ground from when he was first smashed there, and once again gets hit in the head with a mace)

Genie: Oh, that hurts so good.

Uncouthma: But, but, but this is how we do things in Odiferious, Princess.

Jasmine: Well, we do things differently in Agrabah. (Jasmine leans in towards Aladdin who is kneeling on the ground.) It doesn't matter how a suitor fights. (Jasmine leans back up and crosses her wrists over her heart) My heart will be won by...gentleness.

Uncouthma: Gentleness?

(The camera cuts to Carpet, Abu and Iago who are all sitting on the ground.)


Iago:
Yeah, gentleness. That's exciting. Try selling that to Pay-Per-View.

(Aladdin springs up massaging his wrist.)

Aladdin: Well, I'm gentler than this giant any day! So, that's it! Jasmine's mine!

(He places his arm around Jasmine who gives him a disgusted look. She pushes him off her, and walks over to Uncouthma.)

Aladdin: Oh, no.

Genie: (talking in a cowboy accent; pulling a cowboy boot out of his mouth) Yeah, this foot-in-mouth, it just won't go away.

(Jasmine is now standing by Uncouthma, grabbing him by the arm.)

Jasmine: I can sense a kind and gentle heart.

Uncouthma: D'aww!

(Aladdin smacks his forehead.)

Jasmine: (tugging Uncouthma along towards the palace) Oh, you must join me for dinner at the palace tonight, my humongous prince.

(Aladdin watches on from some bushes disappointed, and Iago flies over to him.)

Iago: Oh, you are smooth. Dumped for the Sheikh of Reek. Ha! That's humiliation! Maybe the yak's free tonight, Romeo! Ha!

(Iago flies off and Genie comes over to Aladdin, who has his head down in defeat.)

Genie: The parrot's got a point. You're gonna lose her, Al.

Aladdin: Lose her?


(Setting: the desert right outside the Forbidden Oasis. Carpet is pacing back and forth while Iago is talking to Abu. Abu is carrying a sword preparing to fight the vines from earlier.)

Iago: Go, monkey! Nothing to fear now. Remember a "ha" cut! "Ho" slice!

(Abu raises his sword and prepares to take aim.)

Iago: Or was it the other way around?

(Abu strikes one of the vines, but misses. The vine proceeds to take Abu's sword out of his hands and tries to attack him with it. Abu runs in the opposite direction knocking over Iago.)

Iago: Oh, yeah. Turning your back on the enemy. Nice tactics.

(The sword is thrown in front of Iago and Abu landing vertically into the sand, and shows that it has been twisted and tied into a knot. The two of them grab their own throats and grimace.)

(Setting: Agrabah. Aladdin is talking to Uncouthma on a balcony while the camera pans over the city at sunset.)

Aladdin: What you have to do, friend Uncouthma, is give Jasmine a night she'll never forget.

Uncouthma: Why are you helping, mortal foe?

Aladdin: Foe? Nah, it's obvious that you're the one that the princess wants, Uncouthma.

Uncouthma: Smells good to me!

(Uncouthma picks up Aladdin and gives him a noogie before letting him drop to the ground.)

Uncouthma: Now, on the first date, Odieferious men always brings a bouquet!

(Genie appears next to a recovering Aladdin as a vase with red flowers.)

Genie: Flowers? Aww!

Uncouthma: Of flounders!

(Uncouthma pulls out a bouquet of fish. Aladdin holds his nose at the smell.)

Aladdin: Oh, Agrabah's not so different. We like fish, too. You can't go to a fancy dinner here with a big, fat carp, um...on your head!

(He places a fish from the bouquet on top of Uncouthma's head.)

Uncouthma: Ha, ha! I like it!

Aladdin: And, of course, when your host proposes a toast, you have to pour your drink onto the person next to you.

(Aladdin splashes a cup of liquid into Uncouthma's face.)

Uncouthma: More tips! More tips!

(Genie appears in the now empty glass Aladdin his holding holding a little cocktail umbrella.)

Genie: Uh, Al? Does he really need help in the "weird" department?

Aladdin: Shh! I'm on a roll!

Uncouthma: Ooh! Ooh! Should I bring more ancient cheese?

Aladdin: Couldn't hurt! We wanna make this a special date.

(Setting: the palace at night. Jasmine, the sultan and Uncouthma are sitting around the dinner table with giant fishes on their heads. Sultan struggles to keep his on.)

Sultan: Uh, perhaps you have one more in my size, hmm?

Jasmine: Uh, I think one size fits all.

Sultan: (whispering to Jasmine) Well, part of being a sultan is respecting the customs of other lands no matter how...odd.

Uncouthma: Oh you are too kindly!

(Laughter is heard in the background while the camera pans up to high window where Aladdin is hiding and watching the dinner below along with Genie, Iago, Abu and Carpet.)

Aladdin: (to Genie) Dinner at eight. By eight thirty the palace guards will be tossing Uncouthma out on his yak.

(Abu begins to fuss at Iago for something.)


Iago:
What do you want me to do? We can't get back to the oasis while Peeping Moustafa here is using Carpet.

(Abu raises his fist at Iago, who is sitting with his wings folded and back turned towards Abu.)

Aladdin: Quiet you two!

(The two stop what they were doing, and Aladdin continues to watch the dinner.)

Aladdin: Heh, it was too easy! Uncouthma would fall for anything!

(Iago and Abu are sitting with their arms folded and backs to each other while listening to Aladdin.)

Iago: Huh? Fall for anything? (Abu catches on to what Iago is hinting at.) Here's what we're gonna do. (The two give each other a thumbs up.)

Sultan: A fig nectar toast, to our guest from Odieferious. A pungent land, no doubt. (Sultan struggles to keep the fish on his head.) I mean, a land of many aromas. Mmhmm! Cheers!

(Jasmine, the Sultan and Uncouthma all raise their glasses, but Uncouthma tosses his drink onto Jasmine.)

Sultan: Oh my!

Uncouthma: Did I not perform Agrabah custom properly?

Jasmine: Custom? What? (Jasmine moves her now soaked hair out of her face.)

(Laughing is heard in the background. Jasmine looks up to see it's Aladdin in the window who is the one laughing.)

Jasmine: Oh, no, you were quite correct. (whispering to sultan) Sorry, Father!

(Jasmine dumps her drink onto the sultan. He coughs and spits out the drink.)

Sultan: Yes, rather sticky customs, eh?


Uncouthma:
And now, I will juggle!

Sultan: Oh, wonderful! Wonderful! Entertainment!

(Uncouthma picks up the sultan and Jasmine, and begins to juggle them in the air. Aladdin is laughing even harder at the spectacle taking place.)

Aladdin: I don't know how much more of this I can take, Genie!

(Aladdin stops laughing when he hears laughter coming from the dinner, and looks back down to see what's happening.)

Aladdin: They like it?

Genie: Everybody loves a show, Al!

(Uncouthma juggles the two a few more times before returning each of them to their seats.)

Uncouthma: Time for traditional toss of cheese to my pledged beloved.

(Jasmine catches a wad of smelly cheese in her hands.)

Jasmine: Oh, thank you, Uncouthma. I'll save it for a midnight snack.

(Jasmine tosses the cheese behind her without Uncouthma noticing to a nearby plant. The plant inhales the smell and quickly wilts.)

Jasmine: As an Agrabah tradition, may I present you with the royal melon.

(Jasmine hands Uncouthma a watermelon.)

Sultan: The royal melon?

Jasmine: It is our custom for the guest to throw it at the highest window.

Uncouthma: Toss melon? Sounds strange. But, when in Agrabah...

(Uncouthma takes the melon and tosses it at the window that Aladdin was hiding at, making a direct hit with Aladdin's face. This causes him to fall off Carpet, but Carpet catches him before he hits the ground below. Back inside the palace, Jasmine, Uncouthma and the sultan are all tossing their drinks at one another and laughing.)

Sultan: I haven't had this much fun since, since...why, I've never had this much fun!

(Genie watches the three of them for a while before going to Aladdin, who is now sitting on the ground behind a column annoyed.)

Genie: Uh, were those tips you gave the yak man supposed to make it a good date or a bad date?

(Setting: outside near Uncouthma's camp. Uncouthma is seen dancing to his tent.)

Uncouthma: Oh, love! Sweeter than the ripest of cheese!

(Uncouthma enters his tent and is seen relaxing on his yak, who is eating a pile of hay. Aladdin's voice is heard outside the tent, but it is none other than Iago mimicking Aladdin's voice.)

Iago: (in Aladdin's voice) You knocked 'em dead tonight, 'couthy.

Uncouthma: Friend Aladdin? Come in!

Iago: (in Aladdin's voice) Ah, love to, but I gotta get back to my hovel!

(Abu is laughing to himself while Iago winks at him.)

Iago: I do have one more tip, though.

Uncouthma: (still in his tent) More tips? Ooh, you are too kindly!

Iago: So, true! Now 'couth, baby...

(Abu elbows Iago because he forgot to speak in Aladdin's voice.)

Iago: (in Aladdin's voice) Ahem, what better way to say "I love you" than with a bunch of snake vines...from the Forbidden Oasis just three miles out of Agrabah! Make a left at the shifting dunes!

(Uncouthma is in his tent writing down the directions on a sheet of paper with a quill pen.

Abu and Iago flail around a bit before hiding behind the tent. Uncouthma and his yak emerge soon after in a hurry.)

Uncouthma: Come, trusty yak! To the forbidden place! Ho!

(The yak gallops off, leaving a cloud of dust.)

Iago: Good-bye, snake vines. Hello, treasure!

(Carpet is above the tent listening to Iago, and flies off to go tell. Aladdin, Jasmine and Genie are all outside of Uncouthma's tent in front of Iago and Abu with Carpet pointing a tassel at Iago. Aladdin and Jasmine are not happy.)

Iago: Don't point that thing at me.

Jasmine: Iago! How could you send Uncouthma to the forbidden oasis?

Aladdin: Don't you know how dangerous that place is?

Iago: I have a...rough idea.

(Genie enlarges one of his ears to become a satellite dish as his head rotates.)

Genie: Uh, I'm picking up one barbarian and yak heading due north towards eminent danger and certain doom!

(Uncouthma is shown in the desert charging straight towards snake vines.)

(Setting: the desert. The gang is flying to the Forbidden Oasis to rescue Uncouthma.)

Aladdin: (to Iago) I can't believe you would use Uncouthma this way.

Jasmine: (to Iago) How could you?

Genie: (using his eyes as binoculars) Yeah, that's their job.

(Aladdin and Jasmine feel terrible.)

Aladdin: (sighs) Genie's right. We both used him.

Aladdin and Jasmine: I'm sorry.

Aladdin: It's Uncouthma who deserves an apology.

Genie: Oasis! Dead ahead! (pokes his eyes back into his head)


(They finally arrive at the oasis, but there's no sign of Uncouthma.)

Genie: It's so quiet...(a yak is heard in the background)...you can hear a yak scream!

Aladdin: (pointing to the right) That way! Let's go!

(Everyone heads to the left except Iago, who stays behind.)


Iago:
Yeah! Go get 'em! I'll wait here and guard the exit.

(Genie's hand reaches over and yanks Iago with him.

Uncouthma's yak is seen struggling to get free from the vines inside the oasis.)

Aladdin: Give me something to fight with, Genie!

Genie: One weed whacker coming up!

(Genie makes a scimitar appear in Aladdin's hands, and he begins chopping his way through the snake vines to the ones that are tying the yak down. The vines retreat, and the yak licks Aladdin for its gratitude.)

Aladdin: Yuck!

(Uncouthma is shown hurdling through the oasis ripping the snake vines out of his way with ease until he reaches Aladdin and his yak.)

Uncouthma: My yak! Oh, Aladdin! Small friend and yak saver!

(Abu and Iago walk towards the giant golden ring that is now easily accessible thanks to Uncouthma clearing the way.)

Iago: Ooh, it would be a shame to waste all that snake vine pluckin'!

(The two rush off towards the ring, and Uncouthma is shown giving a bouquet of snake vines to Jasmine.)


Uncouthma:
Lovelies for my lovely!

(He gives the vines to Jasmine, who makes a face at them.)

Uncouthma: You...do not like them?

(The vines begin to grow and they start to curl themselves around Jasmine's body. She lets out a yell.)

Aladdin: I'll save you, Jasmine!

(Iago is finally at the ring.)

Iago: Taj Iago! We are there!

(Iago tries to pick the ring up with his mouth, but it is too large. Abu pulls on the ring from the outside while Iago pushes it from the inside, but it is no use. The two continue to struggle until a noise is heard from a hole near the ring. Two giant gusts of wind explode from the holes that send Iago and Abu flying backwards.

Aladdin is now completely drowned in snake vines from head to toe.)

Aladdin: Will somebody please get me out of here?!

(Carpet hovers above Aladdin and begins to pull on a vine. Jasmine, who is near the yak, smells a familiar stench.)

Jasmine: Ah, that's it!

(Jasmine grabs a lump of cheese out one of the bags the yak was carrying and tosses it at Aladdin. Uncouthma slouches and looks saddened by this.)

Uncouthma: (sigh) You have chosen. By throwing cheese you have to him vowed your heart muscle for now and ever.

Jasmine: I'm sorry, I do love Aladdin, but that's not why I threw the cheese at him. Look!

(The smell of the cheese causes the vines to wilt and Aladdin breaks from the pile of vines.)

Aladdin: Did you say something about...love?

(Aladdin rushes over to Jasmine and the two hug.

Meanwhile, Iago and Abu are back at the ring. Iago is pulling the ring.)

Iago: Don't stop! We're almost rich!

(The ground of the oasis begins to shake, and Carpet gets Aladdin's attention by turning him towards where Iago and Abu are.)

Aladdin: Oh, boy...

(The area Abu and Iago are at begins to erupt and the area around the ring starts to rise to the sky. Iago and Abu are still holding on to the ring, which is now vertical. The area is revealed to be a head of a very large creature and the ring they were grabbing at is a nose ring connected to some nostrils. Aladdin flies up to the face to rescue Abu and Iago.)

Iago: Save the monkey! Save the monkey! I'll save the ring!

(The creature opens its eyes and Iago realizes that it's attached to a monster.)

Iago: Save the bird! Save the bird!

(The creature opens its mouth and begins to inhale. The wind almost sucks Iago into the creatures mouth, but he manages to fly away barely. Upon closing its mouth, the creature bites some of Iago's feathers off. He zooms over Aladdin, Jasmine, Abu, Carpet and Uncouthma trying to escape.)

Iago: You need an invitation?! This way!

(A large branch rises from the ground, which turns out to be the creature's hand and grabs Iago out of the air. A full body shot of the creature is shown as it stands up from the ground. The gang looks on in horror.)

Genie: A plant like that needs a big gardener to cut it down to size!

(Genie turns himself in a gardener about the size of the creature and walks over to the creature.)

Genie: Stop or I'll prune!

Iago: (peeking his head out from the fist of the creature) It is so mossy in here.

(The creature pictures of Genie and throws him across the desert. He lands in a pile of sand.)

Genie: Whew, pretty aggressive for a plant.

Aladdin: (to Uncouthma) How much cheese do you have left?

(The creature brings the fist that is carrying Iago to its face.)

Iago: Is this about the ring? Totally the monkey's idea!

(Aladdin flies around the creature head on Carpet to distract it.)

Aladdin: Now, Genie!

(Genie is down below at the creature's foot, and turns his arm into a huge mallet. He hits the creature on the toe, which causes it to open its mouth.)

Aladdin: Uncouthma!

(Uncouthma and Jasmine both jump on a make shift catapult using a wooden plank and Uncouthma's yak as a balance point that launches a huge chunk of Odieferian cheese into the creature's mouth. The creature eats it and Aladdin joins the rest of the gang.)

Aladdin: That was easy enough.

Jasmine: Aladdin...

(Jasmine looking at the creature realizes that something is happening. The creature is holding its stomach in pain.)

Iago: Hey, keep the ring!

(The creature begins to fold in on itself and shrink until it disappears.)

Iago: Oh, this is it! The end! Kiss my beak goodbye!

(Iago realizes that he is no longer in the creature's grasp and that he is mid-air. Once he does, he falls to the ground. Right next to him is the giant golden ring that is no longer attached to anything.)

Iago: Wait a minute. I'm groveling to a shrub? (Iago walks over to the ring and tries to move it) I'll just take this for my trouble.

(Aladdin and Jasmine are hugging each other while Uncouthma looks on saddened.)

Uncouthma: The people of Odieferious expect me to return with a bride.

Jasmine: (sigh) Prince Uncouthma. I used you just to make Aladdin mad.

Aladdin: You deserve better, big guy. We're both sorry.

Uncouthma: Enough of apologies. We are friends, flimsy folk! (Uncouthma's yak grunts) You are right, faithful yak. It is time. I must return home. Brideless and cheeseless.

Aladdin: Are you kidding? You defeated a giant in battle! You're a hero!

(Genie turns himself into three cheerleaders who cheer and swoon over Uncouthma.)

Genie: Isn't he just so barbaric?

Jasmine: I bet the girls in Odieferious love a hero!

Uncouthma: But my people will need proof of such a fabulous tale.

Aladdin: Well, take the gold ring as a trophy.

(Iago and Abu are pushing the ring away.)

Iago: Not this! I'll send you the newspaper clippings.

(Iago and Abu continues to push until Uncouthma picks up the ring causing the two of them to fall on their face. Abu screeches a bit at Uncouthma.)

Uncouthma: (examining the ring) Hmm, I have no need of this.

(Abu and Iago display huge smiles.)

Uncouthma: Oh, but my yak needs a new collar.

(Abu and Iago look on in disbelief as Uncouthma tosses the golden ring around his yak's neck. He heads over to the yak and mounts it to leave.)

Genie: (to Carpet) Next year, all the yaks will be wearing those.

(Aladdin and Jasmine wave good-bye to Uncouthma as he rides off into the desert.)

Uncouthma: Farewell, petite friends! The sweet scent of Odefierous beckons me home!

Iago: A yak! We lost our fortune to a yak! That's what I get for teaming up with a monkey!

(Iago pushes Abu, and Abu pushes Iago back and starts to screech.)

Iago: Oh, why don't you learn how to speak English?! What are you talking about?!

 

 


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