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Hercules and the Arabian Night

© Disney 1998 (?)

Transcribed by Katie Ann
Screengrabs by Wendy.

Text-only transcript

[We're set in the Underworld - Hades' lair. He's seated at a large table, talking to himself.]

Hades [taunting]: I'm a hero in training... Brrrgg! [He's playing with a chess set, designed with a Hercules figure and other monsters. He proceeds to move them about as he talks.] I go left, boom- Hercules cuts me off. I fake right- BAM, he intercepts. What do I gotta do to get this muck out of my face?! [His temper flares and red flames burst from his hair.]

Pain: Um, pardon us, oh scheming one.... [Hades' hair goes out as he turns to face his minions, Pain and Panic. He flames red once more.]

Hades: WHAT?!! [The minions cringe, but stay put.]

Panic: We're having some difficulty with a new arrival. He doesn't quite..."fit in," shall we say? [He uses his fingers as quotation marks.]

Hades: They send us another live one, what?

Panic: No, no...hehe...this is different.

Pain: Yeah, awl... this one gives us the willies! [He jumps into his friend's arms and they cower.]

Hades: Aye, chicken minions...all right, okay, so- what's the riff on the stiff?

[The scene changes to a check-in stand type thing, still in the Underworld. Ghosts, being see-through, are lines up. Pain and Panic look around the corner.]

Panic: He was right there!

Pain: Yeah, a real complainer! [Hades appears with his arms folded across his chest.]

Hades: Okay, what did he look like?

Panic: Tall, dark, um... well dressed...

Pain: And his beard was so...uh....

Hades: Twisted?

Panic: I'm assuming that was just a lucky guess... [A ghost figure appears behind them, but we can only see the bottom half as the screen is focused on Pain and Panic, who are rather short.] Right?

Hades: Hem, hem... behind you? [He points and the minions look at each other and then look up.]

Pain and Panic: AHHH! [They turn into chickens and then run away.]

[The camera goes up the ghost and Jafar comes into full view. He is exactly as he was in the movies, complete with snakestaff and everything.]

Jafar: Are you in charge here?

Hades: Hades, Lord of the Underworld, how you doing - your host with the ghosts...ha ha! [He extends his hand out but Jafar continues.]

Jafar: Charmed. You see, there's been a grievous error. [Pain and Panic, still chickens, run past and shout, "Clerical!"]

Hades: Oh, of course, I'm sorry! It's a mistake, of course...! Tell me another one stretch face, now come on... you are, to put it gently, DEAD. Okay? Wrong side of the grass. Let's start focusing on the "quality of the afterlife thing", so why don't you take a little dip in the old River Styx here and sayonara babe, okay?

Jafar: This is an outrage! I am Jafar, the scourge of Agrabah! Once the most powerful sorcerer in the world! [He flails his arms around a bit. Hades grabs his nose.]

Hades: Good for you, you big scary booger-head you! Whoo, booga, booga, booga! Get him outta here, will ya boys? [He addresses Pain and Panic, still chickens, as he starts to walk away.]

Pain: Right! Come on trouble-maker! [They grab his robes with their teeth and start to pull him away.]

[Scene changes and we're back in the room before, where Hades still sits and plays with the miniature figurines. He picks one up, puts it down, and then Jafar appears.]

Jafar: What is this? Trying to overthrow someone else's kingdom, hmmm?

Hades: Yeah, Mount Olympus actually... [His eyes go big when he realizes Jafar's there in his private room.] Eh, excuse me...?

Jafar: I myself endeavored to seize the throne of Agrabah. I was even an all-powerful immortal genie! [Jafar walks to the window of the place, and Pain and Panic are seen pulling on Jafar's robes, trying to pull him away.] ...Briefly.

Hades: Something musta gone way wrong, don't you think pal?

Jafar: An impudent young street rat named Aladdin interfered and unraveled all my carefully laid plans of deceit and conquest! [Pain and Panic are shown still trying to pull at his robes and bring him away, but stop when they hear Hades.]

Hades: Really? You don't say? Hey, uh, do you like ambrosia? [He puts an arm around Jafar and leads him into another room.]

[Scene changes once more. They're sitting in front of the River Styx on two red chairs, sharing their stories of defeat.]

Hades: So Jerkules actually carries the sun out of here, and Zeus wins again. This kid is driving me meshugah.

Jafar: This foe actually lifted the sun?

Hades:Yeah, lousy demigod strength, ah... [He hits himself in the head with his hand.] If he had a brain, then he'd be dangerous.

Jafar: Well, after Aladdin and his trickery, a muscle bound ox like Hercules will be child's play. [He sits back and puts his hand behind his head.]

Hades [standing up, angry]: Oh really? You care to back that up, you stiff?

Jafar [also standing up]: In a heartbeat. Which I don't have in so far as I am dead... [He walks closer to the water.] Of course, you could remedy that. [He turns to face Hades, who puts a finger up to his chin, thinking quickly.]

Hades: Eh, what have I got to lose? Okay my bro! [He grabs Jafar's snakestaff from him and twirls it around.] You're back, with a vengeance! Ah, bata-bing! [The staff glows and turns into a real snake. It quickly circles Jafar, turning him into flesh and blood, and then goes stiff in his hand as the staff again.]

Jafar: Yes...yes, I am alive again! And ready to exact my revenge upon Aladdin! [He starts firing red magic out of the staff, getting a little carried away.] Yea ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

Hades: What is that, like a bronchial thing? As long as you hold that staff, you are flesh and blood - emboldened, empowered with incredible magic..yadda yadda...

[Jafar starts shooting magic again, all over the place, laughing manically.Suddenly, a hand reaches out and grabs the staff from him, and he turns back into a ghost.]

Hades: Hello? Priorities babe? All right? First you take care of Jerkules, then you are free to 'skitter off and have your stinky little revenge', ha ha... [He imitates Jafar and his hair flames up, but remains blue.] You got it?

Jafar: Oh, yes, of course... forgive my... eagerness.

Hades: He, okay, no problem... [He hands the staff back to Jafar.] Now go - get down, get funky, get nasty babe. [He waves Jafar off as he walks away.]

[We're outside on Hercules' obstacle course. Hercules is dressed in his 'young-hero outfit' as he was in the movie, complete with cape and all. He's climbing over walls, grunting. A dragon pops up, he slicing through it. A group of Minotaur appear, he pole-vaults over them, swings back, hits their heads in. Phil is standing nearby, holding a clipboard and obviously grading Hercules on his efforts. Hercules punches through wooden monsters, swings across a pit and knocks down one last monster.]

Hercules: Not too bad, huh? Took 'em all out with hardly a scratch.

Phil [looking over]: All of 'em?

[A monster body close-by suddenly punches out and hits Hercules. He is thrown to the ground with his head stuck in a large sand pile. He pulls his head out and groans.]

Phil: That's what happens when you just barrel your way through, rookie. You got a good head on your shoulders [he taps Hercules on the head]- start using it or you'll get in real trouble some day!

[Suddenly, large monsters appear - a griffin and a Minotaur - and they're coming straight at Hercules and Phil. Another dragon-type head pops in at the corner. Phil backs away and is actually flicked to the side by the Minotaur. The Minotaur then grabs Hercules and starts squeezing.]

Hercules: Uh, okay Phil...ah, I get the point...

Phil: Don't look at me, I didn't do this!

[We hear evil laughter and a dark red cloud appears in the sky next to the monsters. Lighting flashes, and lava boils up from the earth. It shoots up hundreds of feet into the air, and then hardens as Jafar pops up to stand on it.]

Jafar: But I did. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Jafar, the greatest sorcerer the world has ever known! [He points his staff and red laser streams shoot out, headed Hercules' way, as he is still being held by the Minotaur. He breaks free and falls to the ground, and the red laser streams hit the monster instead.]

Jafar: I'm just getting warmed up!

[He shoots some more at Hercules, who barely moves out of the way. Hercules fumbles to the ground after one last dodge.]

Jafar: Not particularly agile, are you? [He shoots some more as Hercules jumps out the way, again barely avoiding the blasts. He is hit by one and throw back and then caught by the cape in the mouth of the griffin.]

Hercules: No, but I hang in there!

Phil: Use your noddle, rookie! [He points to his head.]

Jafar: No helping, goaty! [He blasts Phil with the red streams and Phil is moved so that he is hanging upside down with an apple in his mouth, as though he were over a barbecue.]

[The griffin, with Hercules' cape in its mouth, tosses back its head to throw Hercules up and swallow him. Hercules punches the monster and then lands on the ground. He makes a run for Phil's house (which is an enormous head, once piece of a statue that is now hollowed out for those that don't watch the show). He picks the huge stone piece up and begins running through the monsters with it. He knocks them all out of the way as he makes his way to Jafar.]

Jafar: Stop him you fools!

[Hercules hits one last monster out of the way, and then makes his way up the hill to where Jafar is standing. Jafar, looking scared, quickly tries to blast him, but misses. Hercules continues to run, until he reaches Jafar. He throws the huge head on top of him.]

Jafar: Nooooo! Aahhhhhhhh!

[The monsters that were barely recovering from being hit with a huge head now turn to sand, colored as they were before. Phil is released as well, and the apple falls from his mouth. He picks it up and eats it in two bites.]

Hercules: Ha, all right! How was that Phil?

Phil: I said use your head - not my house! [He points behind him where his house is sitting on the hill, upside down.]


[We're back to the Underworld. Hades is sitting in the same chair as before, as Jafar falls from the ceiling, obviously the earth, and hits the ground with his cape over his head and his staff clattering besides him.]

Hades: Kid packs a punch, huh?

Jafar [getting up]: I was... ill-prepared. I never had to worry about strength like that, dealing with mortals.

Hades [standing up]: Hoho, wait a minute, hold on... [He shakes his head] Mortals? This Aladdin yutz you've been going on and on about is a mere MORTAL?

Jafar: Well, yes... but a very clever one.

Hades: Oh! A clever mortal! Mommy, hold my hand, I'm scared! Hey, Jafar babe, face it - your boy is strictly amateur-hour!

Jafar: Insolent cur! [He begins to raise his voice.] In battle Aladdin would shame and humiliate you!

Hades: Okay, number one, this is my home. [He starts to back Jafar up, walking toward him angrily.] I'm the one who does the VOICE RAISING here, okay! [His head and hair turn a mean red, then back to blue.] And number two, just 'cause it'll be worth a chuckle or two, I'll take on your boy Aladdin, all right. And what's more, I will beat him.

Jafar: Doubtful...

Hades: Oh yeah, you just keep thinking that, okay. [He puts an arm around Jafar's neck and walks with him.] In the meantime, Jafy, may I call you Jafy, babe? Let me show you how you're missing the villain boat here, okay? First of all - you da man, you know what I'm saying? [He hits Jafar's chest with his fists.] The big-bad dude. So you gotta use a minion or two.

Jafar: I had a minion. A treacherous parrot!

Hades: Not a pet. A min-ion. Pain, Panic, come here!

[His minions come around the corner, running.]

Pain and Panic: Coming! [They come into the room, standing straight and 'on-guard'.]

Hades: Nice, huh? Now, uh, I give 'em some kind of boiler-plate instructions, right? You know, bow before me...[They do so.] Spread my evil...eliminate Aladdin with extreme prejudice...blah-ya-blah, got it boys?

Pain: None shall avert us from your dark intentions, your solicitousness! [They salute, bow, then turn to leave and hit the wall behind them. They groan and then fall, face first, onto the ground.]

Hades: Not the best examples maybe, but hey - I never get my hands dirty and... [He picks them up, one in each hand.] they're house-broken. Usually. [He tosses each out the door and they fly past. Hades then turns toward Jafar, then back to the table he was playing at before, and suddenly there is the image of Agrabah, the palace and all, shining from it.] Now, feast your peepers on this....

[The scene changes to Agrabah. The camera rolls down to the marketplace. Two men are seen walking, Pain and Panic in disguise. They have coloring like Sadira and are wearing regular 'Arabian' clothes.]

Pain: What do they call these again? [He motions to his pants.]

Panic: Pants.

Pain: I like! No drafts.

Panic: Oh forget it, they'll never catch on. [He grabs Pain and pulls him in front of him.] Now come on, we've gotta find this Aladdin kid.

[The scene changes, still in the marketplace, only a bit later it appears.]

Panic: Let's see, according to his rap sheet, Aladdin also answers to 'Al'. [He's looking at a scroll, talking to Pain and walking along once more.] He wears a vest - no shirt - and a rakish fez.

Pain [pointing]:That's gotta be our man! [They both turn into one dragon with two heads. They run through the marketplace, the people running in terror. We hear a monkey screech suddenly.]

Pain: We've got you now, Aladdin! [They're holding on to Abu by his arms. Abu gives a 'Huh?' squeak when he hears this.]

Panic: Well, he matches the description.

Pain: But he doesn't look very...heroic.

Aladdin: Appearances can be deceiving. I'm Aladdin.

[Aladdin is standing on a nearby rooftop with Jasmine and Carpet next to him. He is wearing grey pants, shoes, and a shirt with a vest over, with no fez or turban (the outfit from King of Thieves). Both he and Jasmine have their hands on their hips.]

Jasmine: I think you have our monkey.

Panic: THAT'S Aladdin? Hmm, we'll have to update the database. [He throws the scroll, and Abu, aside. Still in the dragon form, they leap after Aladdin. He jumps off the roof onto a covering above a doorway. It pushes him up to land on top of both their heads with his feet. One the ground, he pulls their tail so they are lying flat on their backs. Jasmine, flying down on Carpet, hops off as Aladdin jumps on.]

Jasmine: Aladdin! [He runs over to a stand and takes the cloth top off. She throws it to him as he passes by on Carpet.]

Aladdin: Thanks Jasmine. [He begins tying the cloth around Pain and Panic's feet.] This should keep you under wraps.

[Abu walks up to the pinned dragon, and hits both creatures on the face smartly. They yell, 'Oh!' a few times before he stops. Aladdin, meanwhile, finishes tying them up by their feet and hops off Carpet.]

Aladdin: What is this thing? I've never seen anything like it. [He reaches to touch the dragon when Pain and Panic transform again, this time into two different snakes. They wrapped themselves around Aladdin, and start to squeeze.]

Panic: This time we really got ya!

Aladdin: Ah! Okay! Okay! You guys win, all right! Uh, look do whatever you want to me... just don't take my lamp! [He pulls it out to show them.]

Panic: Why? What's in the lamp?

Pain: Must be something tres-cool.

Both: Give it!

[They reach out to grab it, but Aladdin tosses the lamp to Jasmine, standing next to him.]

Jasmine: Sorry, too slow. [Pain and Panic, slither off Aladdin. They change into their normal form and leap after it.]

Both: Give it! Come on, give me it! Give it!

[Jasmine holds it out of reach, then tosses it to Carpet. He flies away with it, and Abu reaches out and takes it as he is holding onto the side of a stand. Pain and Panic keep yelling for it, and Abu throws it to Aladdin. They run after him. He throws it to Jasmine, Jasmine throws it to Abu, but Pain and Panic catch up with him. They tackle him and take the lamp.]

Panic: Ah! Now we'll just see what special goodies you've got in here!

Jasmine: [gasp] Stop! [She grabs onto Aladdin's arm while he shakes his hand at the two minions.]

Aladdin: You have no idea what's contained within that lamp!

Panic: What do you take us for?!

Pain: A couple of rubs fresh off the olive cart?

[They look over it, greedily. Panic lifts the top part of the lamp off, and a large blue hand pops out and punches both of the creatures away. They go flying out of the marketplace, out to Greece, where they hit a hill and fall through to the Underworld again.]

Both: Ah! Oh...

Jafar: Well, that was indeed worth a chuckle... but I couldn't help but notice that Aladdin is still alive!

Hades: You win. The kid is trickier than I thought. [He walks away, into the 'chess room' and begins playing with the pieces again. Jafar quickly follows.] All right, let's see... where to put the Hydra...hmm...

Jafar [confused]: That's it? Aladdin humiliated you! Don't you want your revenge?!

Hades: Uh, yeah, sure, okay. How 'bout I RULE THE COSMOS first, and then I'll take it, okay? Priorities, Jafar, okay? Eyes on the prize babe.

Jafar: Bah! The only prize I value is Aladdin's head! But I just can't defeat that boy! [He pauses, thinking quickly.] Hmm, maybe I don't have to defeat him... Tell me, Hades... what happens when one hero fights another hero?

Hades [not getting it]: Mayhem...chaos...uh... collateral damage, nice...but a, how would that start?

Jafar: Well, what if Aladdin and Hercules were to have some sort of terrible misunderstanding? With the proper motivation...

Hades: Oh, they would fight until they destroyed each other! I like it!

Jafar: Ah! Yes, yes! I shall have my revenge! [He starts laughing evilly again.]

Hades: What's with the laughing? What, what is that? Who does that help? Huh?

Jafar: Eh, it punctuates my evil. It's a flourish. [He starts laughing once more.]

[Hades walks away, Jafar still laughing.]

Hades: You are such a freak.


[We're in Agrabah once more, middle of the marketplace. Abu comes into view, calmly walking around. He spots a banana on the ground.]

Abu: Whoa! Mama! Bananas!

[He sees more. There's a trial of them, and he grabs one and then hops to the next. He has a handful when he reaches the corner of a building where the trial led to. He hops behind the corner, and we hear him screeching and something being shoved into a bag. Jafar, alive and undisguised, comes around the corner holding a bag that's moving and yelling- Abu is inside.]

[The scene changes to Greece. We see Hercules' best friend, Icarus, walking around at their school, Prometheus Academy. He's whistling as he walks and suddenly stops when he spots a banana on the ground as well.]

Icarus: Wow! Mama! Banana! [He sees a trail of them too.] Wow, this is my lucky day! Oh man, I am gonna be sitting pretty in bananas! [He hops down, picking each fruit up exactly as Abu did.] Potassium gold, baby! [Suddenly, when he reaches the corner where the banana's led to as well, he is grabbed.]

[The scene changes again. We're in the Underworld and Icarus and Abu are chained together on the floor.]

Icarus: I don't know what your sicko game is, but I'll tell you what I do know: my pal Herc will not quit until- [He stops when he sees Abu chained next to him.] Whoa! Monkey! Cool!

[Jafar and Hades are standing in front of them.]

Jafar: This is Hercules' best friend?

Hades: Hey, at least he doesn't spend his days picking fleas out of his fur.

Icarus: That's true. As far as you know. Anyway, Herc will not quit until he's rescued me from your vile clutches, buddy!

Abu: Aladdin, too!


Jafar: Oh, we're counting on your friends rushing off to the rescue. Isn't that right, Hades?! [He begins laughing manically again, his arm around Hades.] At last, revenge will be mine!!

Hades [turning to him]: Look, why don't you just hold that 'till we win, then you can dance around the endzone and just whoop it up!

[The scene goes back to Greece. Hercules is standing where Icarus was before he saw the bananas, right in the middle of school.]

Hercules: Where could Icarus be? He's never late.

Jafar: Icarus, did you say boy? [He's dressed and speaking like the old man when he persuaded Aladdin to go with him to the Cave of Wonders. He comes around the corner, cane in hand.] I believe that was the name of the lad that got kidnapped.

Hercules: Kidnapped?!

Jafar: Yes! Whisked away on a flying carpet to Agrabah! A young rogue named Aladdin did the deed!

Hercules: Well I don't know who this Aladdin is, but he picked the wrong guy to kidnap! [He rushes off.]

Jafar: Show no mercy boy!

[Hades appears next to him once Hercules is out of sight. He grabs Jafar's beard and mouth off and examines it.]

Hades: What is this, a budget-cut? Hey, if you need some petty cash, just ask, okay?

Jafar: Give me that! [He takes the beard back and backs away. He shrinks and then with a puff of smoke, he reappears as normal.] It's up to your miserable minions now.

Hades: Hey, trust me, deceit they can do.

[Scene change once again. Pain and Panic are leaning against a wall, up high on a roof top. They watch as Aladdin comes closer. Aladdin is walking with Jasmine down the street.]

Aladdin: Abu's gotta be here somewhere, but I just don't see him!

Pain: Commence operation.

Panic: Hero versus Hero! [He allows Pain to jump onto his shoulders and they become Hercules, dressed in his hero outfit.]


Pain: Forget every seeing your monkey pal again, Aladdin! [He sounds NOTHING like Hercules, as he tried to disguise his voice, but fails. Aladdin and Jasmine turn to look at them.] I, Hercules, the scourge of Athens, took him!

Aladdin: What?

['Hercules' grabs his cape and bends down.]

Pain: He's gonna make a nice throw-rug! Ha, ha, ha! ['Hercules' jumps back and across the building, then off it. Aladdin and Jasmine follow on Carpet.]

Aladdin: I think he went that way! Carpet, let's move!

[We see Pain and Panic, back into their normal form, crouching on a balcony below the roof of the building they were on.]

Pain: How was that?

Panic: Oh man, you nailed that voice! [He gives him a thumbs-up.]

[Just then, Hercules lands with Pegasus and Phil on a roof-top too.

Hercules: We gotta find this Aladdin creep. [He jumps off the flying-horse and walks to the edge of the building. He stands on Carpet, who is pretending to be a real rug.] But where do we start?

[Carpet flies up and sends Hercules on his back. Carpet then flies around the horse as well.]

Phil: Whoa! Maybe he'll find us! [He points to a higher roof-top where Aladdin and Jasmine are standing, both with their hands on their hips. Carpet flies to the edge of the building, waiting for them to jump on.]

Aladdin: Hercules! It takes a lot of nerve to kidnap someone's best friend! [He and Jasmine jump on Carpet, who takes them to the roof with Phil and Hercules. Aladdin clenches his fist.]

Hercules: Ha! Nobody knows that better than you, Aladdin! [He stands up and charges after Aladdin. At the perfect moment, Aladdin jumps up, pushing himself over Hercules. Hercules hits the edge, breaks through, and goes flying down. He hits the next building and goes through that wall too.]

Phil: It's look, then leap. How hard is that?! Look, leap!

[Aladdin and Jasmine run over to the edge to see where Hercules went.]

Aladdin: Ouch....


[We hear crashing, as Hercules either falls or runs down the building. Near the door to the entrance of that building, Hercules crashes through the wall. He goes to the edge of the building where Aladdin and everyone are. He bends to pick it up.]

Hercules: I'll say this once! [He picks the building up and shakes it around a bit.] I'm in no mood to play games!!

[The gang on top of the building go rolling around, including Phil. Pegasus flies off. Aladdin jumps up, toward Carpet.]


Aladdin: Ah, he's too strong to fight head-on. I'll lead him away! [He jumps on Carpet and flied down low, just past Hercules, who looks over.] Come on Hercules, catch me if you can! [Hercules drops the building.]

[Jasmine and Phil are in a tangle on the top of the roof still.]

Phil: Hey, let me go! I- [Jasmine pushes off him and he sees her clearly.] I'd like to introduce myself. [Jasmine stands up, and so does he.] Philotetes, trainer of-

Jasmine: I'm married. [She holds up her wedding ring hand to herself.]

Phil: Oh! Sorry ma'am.

[Hercules is shown now, jumping into Pegasus.]

Hercules: That's the guy who took Icarus! We've got to stop him! [He flies off after Aladdin.]

Aladdin: Maybe a run through the city'll wear him down! [He flied over the marketplace, Hercules close behind him. They keep going, past people in their homes and on the streets. Hercules is still close behind.] Let's see how he does in the Alley of a Thousand Sheets!

[Aladdin flies high, then back low and through many clothing wires with towels and sheets hanging down. Aladdin flies past easily, but Hercules hits them all, and it pulled back by them. Aladdin flies back around and stops, admiring his craftiness.]

Aladdin: Ha! I knew that would work.


Phil: Aw! He walked right into that! [He's still on the building next to Jasmine.] Don't just muscles through kid! Your noodle, use your noodle! [He points to his head.] Ahe...

[Hercules quickly breaks the lines that are holding him back. He begins flying towards Aladdin, who was still.]

Aladdin [moving again]: Okay, new plan! Head for that scaffold! [He flies towards a wooden structure, like the one he ran up when the guards chased him during, 'One Jump Ahead'.

Hercules: I'm getting so tired of this!

[Carpet flies right over to the scaffold, and Aladdin grabs hold of a rope dangling off the side of the wooden structure. He swings around the scaffold as Hercules comes past, attempting to swing around and knock Hercules off the horse. Aladdin swings into him, but it doesn't even make Hercules flinch. Aladdin's laying back on the horse, Hercules grinning at him with his fists clenched.]

Aladdin: Uh oh.

[Hercules tries to hold him down, and punch, but Aladdin jumps off and lands on another covering of a doorway, and then onto Carpet.]

Aladdin: Not gonna try that again. This guy is strong. REALLY strong. Hey...maybe we could use that.

[Carpet flies over to an abandoned two-story building, and Aladdin hops off. He rushes into the building just as Hercules arrives. Hercules gets off the horse and laughs in the doorway.]

Hercules: Ha! Hiding?

Aladdin: No. Just waiting for you to catch up. [He's slightly behind a ruin, and jumps out of the way when Hercules lunges at him again.The building starts to shake when Hercules hits the wall.]

Hercules: Ah, when I get my hands on you... [Hercules rubs his head and then glares at Aladdin.]

Aladdin: Hehe, IF you get your hands on me, Jerkules. [He winks at him.]

Hercules: You know, everybody thinks they're being clever when they call me that... [He punches at Aladdin, missing and hitting the walls. He continues to do this, and Aladdin merely moves out of the way each time.] But it's NOT THAT FUNNY. [He takes one more swing at Aladdin, who ducks just in time.]

Aladdin: Maybe, but it so suits you. [He gives Hercules a thumbs-up.] Catch! [Hercules looks up and sees that the ceiling is beginning to fall, and he catches it as it starts to fall. The top floor of the building collapses.]

Aladdin: I can get you out of this - IF you tell me where Abu is.

Hercules: Ah...I-I don't know what you're talking about! [Aladdin starts to move to the door.

Aladdin: Well, then you think about it under a ton of rubble. Bye! [He looks out the door to go.]

Hercules: Ah, I don't care about me, but.. let my friend Icarus go!

Aladdin [turning back]: Your friend? Uh oh, I think there's been a big mistake. [He walks to Hercules, motioning to him. They both look up as the roof collapses on top of them. Jasmine and Phil run up as the entire building falls down.]

Jasmine: Aladdin!

[Pegasus and Carpet stand there, shocked.]

Phil: Oh no... Herc...

[Jafar and Hades are watching the entire scene, from the same room. They see Jasmine, Phil, Pegasus and Carpet all hunched over at the sight of the ruined building. The two villains are BOTH laughing now, with one arm around each other, happy to see both their enemies fall.]

Hades: Hey, you know this is kinda fun, ya I mean I like it... it's cleansing.

[We're back at the ruined building with Jasmine and Phil and everyone standing sadly before it.]

Phil: Aw, kid...[He turns away. He hears shaking bricks though, and turns back. A large piece of the roof is starting to lift, and Hercules is seen pushing it up. Hercules quickly throws it aside, and then turns back. Aladdin is crouched there, coughing.]

Aladdin: Thanks. [Jasmine hastily runs over to him, and throws her arms around his neck.]

Jasmine: Aladdin! [He holds onto her arms and stands up.]

Aladdin: Jasmine, I don't think Hercules kidnapped Abu.

Hercules: And I'm pretty sure Aladdin didn't grab Icarus.

Phil: So, this was a set-up?

Jasmine: But who would want you two to fight?

Hercules: I don't know. Maybe that Jafar guy.

Aladdin and Jasmine: Jafar?! [They turn towards each other.]

Aladdin: No, it can't be... [Jasmine turns to Hercules and Phil.]

Jasmine: Jafar's dead.


Hercules: Well, he sure seemed alive when he attacked me. [He puts one foot up on a rock, and realizes.] Oh no, maybe he hooked up with...

Phil: Hades, Lord of the Dead! [He snaps his fingers.] Oh boy, there're your kidnappers.

Hercules: They must of thought we'd crush each other. [He walks over to Aladdin, who meets him in the middle. They stand centered, with the palace in the background.]

Aladdin: He, let's try this again. I'm Aladdin. [He extends his hand.]

Hercules: Hey, I'm Hercules. Good to meet ya. [He shakes Aladdin's hand. Pegasus smiled over at Carpet, who pats him on the side.]

Aladdin: So, where do you find our friends?

Phil: They gotta be in the Underworld. But we go in there, they'll throw everything they got at us.

Aladdin: It's worth the risk to save Abu. Let's go. [He and Jasmine begin to walk off, ready to go like always. But Hercules grabs Jasmine's arm to stop them.]

Hercules: Hold on. I want to save my buddy too, but...maybe there's a smarter way than just barreling in...

Phil: He can be taught!

[The scene changes again back to the Underworld. Icarus and Abu are still chained together on the floor, with either villain being no where around.]

Icarus: Oh, buddy Herc is gone.. all is lost! Hey, what are you doing? [He turns back a little to see Abu trying to pick the lock with his tail.]

Abu: Shh!

Icarus: Oh.. right...escape plan, yes monkey, yes...I'll keep it on the QT... or as you might say, eek eek.

Abu: Oh brother...

[Hades is at his chess table again, and he's playing the pieces once more.]


Hades: Then a gorgon hits them from the side, bring in the river guardian and bada-bing! Olympus is mine, oh yes!

Jafar: Delightful. And then perhaps we could turn our attention toward Agrabah...

Hades: Small potatoes, what - Agrabah - what you want to be a sultan when you could be a god? Jafar... Lord of the Dead, huh, what do you think, huh, you like that?

Jafar: Hmm, intriguing... [He turns to the side.] May I redecorate?

Hades: Yeah, sure, what do I care, throw up some drapes. [He shrugs.]

Pain: Hercules and Aladdin are here!

Panic: And they're alive! [The two minions are pointing out the window.]

Hades and Jafar: WHAT?! [They rush to the window as well, to see for themselves.]

[Two figures are flying in, one on Carpet and one on Pegasus.]

Hades: Okay, now...don't panic. Heroes burst in all the time down here... [He turns toward Jafar.] So, hey, why don't you take care of it, a little, you know, 'On the Job Training', what do you say, okay?

Jafar [grinning]: My pleasure.

[The figure of Aladdin flies over as Jafar turns a corner and meets it.]

Jafar: Hello, Aladdin! [His staff glows with the red laser type thing again.] Remember me? Just another blast from your past? [He shoots the red at the figure on the Carpet, who dodges.]

Hades: Aye, puns.

Jafar: Now here's something even you can't outwit! [He shoots once more and it hits the figure, freezing him and Carpet in one large piece of solid ice, stuck in the air.] And so ends the streetrat...

[He turns to the remaining figure on the horse.]


Jafar: Don't think I've forgotten about you, my friend! [He shoots again, but this time forming a large brick wall before the figure on the horse. Pegasus smashes into the wall and sends the rider sprawling over it.] Ha aha! You're clumsiness will be your undoing, Hercules! [He shoots again as the figure lands smartly on his feet. This time, with a whole lot of smoke, a giant scorpion appears.] This scorpion should make my point! [The figure jumps to avoid the stinger of the creature, and jumps on it.]

Aladdin: That might work, Jafar. IF I were Hercules! [He's wearing Hercules' clothes, and quickly throws them off to show his other clothing underneath.] But I'm not!

Jafar: What?!

[The large block of ice, hanging in midair, begins to tremble. Hercules quickly breaks out of it.]

Hercules: And I'm not Aladdin!


[Hercules jumps off Carpet and onto the ground across the River Styx where Jafar and Aladdin are.]

Aladdin: I'll take that! [He grabs the snake-staff from Jafar and tosses it to Hercules.] Herc, care to do the honors?

Hercules: Gladly! [He catches the staff and breaks it in half. The scorpion suddenly disappears into smoke.]

Jafar:! It can't be! [He slowly turns back into a ghost, and as he's standing in the river, the souls pull on his clothes and bring him down with them.] NOOOO!!!!

Aladdin: Good plan, Herc! Phil would be proud. [He's standing next to Hercules, grinning.]

Hades [sighing]: Oh, that's just fine, you know. I mean, I knew that Jafar guy was a jerk. I mean, what could be more aggravating than this?! [He hears slapping beneath him and looks down. Icarus and Abu are kicking and 'chito-shopping' him at his feet.]

Icarus: Gah, take that you Underworld boss, huh!

Hades [turning around]: I'll tell you what, okay? Drop it right now and I won't make you PERMANENT RESIDENTS! [His hair turns red again. Icarus and Abu stopped immediately.]

Icarus and Abu: Okay.

[The scene changes once last time. We're at a hill-top in Greece where Hercules and Aladdin and the rest of the gang are saying their good-byes.]


Icarus: Oh yes, me and the monkey kicked a little Underworld tail! A go monkey, go monkey, go monkey...[He and Abu dance around, shaking their butts and grinning.]

Aladdin: Thanks a lot, Hercules. You're gonna be one great hero. [He shakes his hand.]

Hercules: Ah, thanks Aladdin. Coming from you, that means a lot. [Aladdin walks over to Carpet where Abu and Jasmine are already seated.]

Jasmine: If you're ever in Agrabah, look us up! [They fly off, Aladdin standing in a heroic pose and Jasmine waving.]

[Hercules turns back to Pegasus, where Icarus is already standing.]

Icarus: Herc, can we get a monkey? [Hercules gets on Pegasus.]

Hercules: No....

Icarus: Come on, monkey?

Hercules [laughing]: No, Icarus...

Icarus: What are you kidding me? [They fly off into the sun.]

Hercules: Aw....


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