Site Info
We are the home of 167 authors from among our 746 members. There have been 2011 reviews written about our 530 stories. A special welcome to our newest member, Disneygirl19.
A Barbarian's Life for Me by VampireNaomi
[Reviews - 1] Printer Chapter or Story

- Text Size +
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Aladdin and company won't appear in this fic; this about Odiferian barbarians only.
A BARBARIAN'S LIFE FOR ME CHAPTER 1

It was impossible to say who was more surprised, the guard or Runtar, when a fellow barbarian crashed through the prison roof.

"Torin! What's going on?" the young guard asked, rushing to his friend's side and helping him stand up.

The older warrior looked unharmed, only a little dizzy. He shook his bearded head to clear his thoughts and stepped out of the small crater his fall had created on the floor. Then his expression grew very grim.

"We're under attack!" he announced.

"What? By who?" Runtar asked from his cell. Never in his life would he have thought that he'd see the day when someone attacked Odiferous. They were known for responding to violence with violence and not listening to reason once the fighting started. Nobody wanted to pick a bone with them.

Torin ignored his question and didn't even turn to glance at him. Instead, he grabbed a battle axe and shoved it into the young guard's hands. "Follow me, lad! Join us as we defend our country!" With that he took his own weapon and rushed out of the prison. The guard followed the example, eager to be of service.

Runtar was left alone to wonder just what was going on. He was too short to see through the barred window, so all he could do was sit back and wait for whatever would happen next.

- - -

Uncouthma had to admit that these strangers were tough. Not as tough as his men, but with their bulging muscles and strong weapons they were an impressive sight.

They had appeared out of nowhere and attacked the capital before anyone even knew of their presence. There had been no attempts to solve the problem by negotiations. The fact that someone had sent their army to attack their capital was enough for him and his men. This was an attempted take-over, and they would do everything in their power to stop it.

He brought down his axe to block a blow that would have cracked his skull. The man he was fighting was big and strong, but other than that he didn't look anything like the barbarians. His skin was tanned, he was completely bald and he was wearing light armour that wasn't the best protection but allowed him to move more swiftly than Uncouthma.

"Why have you come here?" Uncouthma asked as he brought down his weapon again. The other warrior dodged nimbly and didn't answer. Unlike Uncouthma, he was too out of breath to talk in the middle of the battle.

One glance around told Uncouthma that his men were fairing well. The attack had caught them off guard, but his people were strong warriors and difficult to defeat. Everywhere he looked, he could see his men having little to no trouble pushing back the strange invaders. Nobody seemed to be seriously injured, but he thought he had heard General Gouda scream earlier. It must have been just a battle cry.

"We're going to have a great victory feast tonight," he remarked happily to himself before turning his attention back to his opponent. Using his superior strength and bigger body, he charged at the man, trusting that his armour would protect him from any attack.

He was right. The enemy, surprised by this bold act, barely had the time to lift his sword before he had been tackled to the ground. His weapon flew from his hands. He tried to rush to it, but Uncouthma stepped in the way and stopped the attempt.

"Now, why are you attacking my kingdom?" he asked, looming over the fallen enemy. If the bald man was afraid, he didn't show it. His face twisted into an expression of contempt.

"I have nothing to tell you, you filthy barbarian!" he said and spat at Uncouthma's feet.

"And yet you grace our city with a gesture like that?" Uncouthma asked in confusion. Spitting to the ground was an old tradition that showed that the guest was feeling at home. It was the highest honour a host could receive.

"What?" the enemy asked, feeling just as confused as Uncouthma.

"Never mind," Uncouthma said. He decided he wouldn't kill this warrior. The bright colours of his armour indicated that he was a high officer and would make for a good prisoner. They would have to start preparing for war as soon as this battle and the victory feast were over.

He grabbed the warrior by the front of his armour and lifted him with ease. A few cheers around him told him that his men had had equal success. Of the dozens of enemy warriors, only a handful was still standing. The rest had been beaten to the ground by his men. While most were still alive, they wouldn't be able to continue fighting.

"Fellow Odiferians!" Uncouthma announced with a victorious grin. "We have defeated this wicked enemy!"

Suddenly, the ground started shaking. Uncouthma almost lost his balance because of the surprise but managed to remain standing. Some of his men weren't that lucky and the remaining enemy warriors instantly used that to their advantage. They hadn't been affected by the sudden earthquake, as if they had been expecting it.

"What's going on?" Uncouthma asked, glancing around.

"Oh, you'll see soon enough," the man he was holding remarked with a grin.

Uncouthma frowned and resisted the urge to punch the man, throwing him on his shoulder like a rag doll instead. The shaking slowed down and stopped, and the battle continued.

Or rather, it would have continued if everyone hadn't stopped to stare at a man who had suddenly appeared on top of the highest building, excluding the royal castle. He was tall and had a powerful stature, though he was not very impressive compared to any of the warriors. He was dressed in a dark brown vest and travelling trousers, like any common man.

Uncouthma watched in fascination how the man waved his hand once. At first nothing happened, but then a lighting bolt struck out of nowhere and hit one of his strongest warriors. The tall barbarian fell instantly.

Most people who were friends with the barbarians knew that they could be some of the friendliest people in the world. Cruelty wasn't a common character trait among them, and they were always cheerful and ready to welcome any guests. However, everyone also knew that angering a barbarian was not a wise thing to do. Once they thought they had been wronged, they never gave up until justice had prevailed.

This was the case even now. Even before the fallen barbarian had properly hit the ground, some of his fellow men had grabbed their weapons and rushed at the mysterious man. To his slight surprise, Uncouthma realised that he wasn't among them. He was still carrying his prisoner. With a frustrated growl, he threw the man away and prepared to join the others.

This action brought the wizard's attention to him. The distance between them was too long for Uncouthma to see the expression on the man's face, but he could clearly see him wave his hand again.

Uncouthma knew he would be the next target.

- - -

Brawnhilda bit her lip in frustration. She couldn't remember when had been the last time she had been this angry. Everyone was out there, fighting to protect their country, but she had to remain safe in the castle! It wasn't that she was a woman, since there were quite a few capable female warriors in Odiferous. No, the problem was that according to an old tradition, a pregnant woman shouldn't leave her home before the child was born.

As much as she respected her elders, she sometimes wanted to curse them for making life so difficult. Her precious Uncouthma was out there, and her place should have been by his side! Her fingers bit into the stone edge of the wall, crushing it into dust. She was standing in the highest tower and watching the battle, hoping to catch at least one glimpse of her husband.

They had been married for three months now and their life was perfect. She was pregnant with their first child and things were well in Odiferous. The yaks were healthy, the cheese was the best in years, and they had had no trouble with other kingdoms.

Until now, it seems, she thought grimly. She had no idea where these people had come from. Even from her tower she could see that they weren't locals. The question was, why would someone from a far away land want to have a war with them?

She let out a surprised yelp as the ground started shaking all of sudden. She grabbed the wall for balance, never tearing her eyes from the city. Earthquakes never took place in Odiferous, so she was certain that this wasn't a natural occurrence. That, in turn, could only mean that the enemy had some kind of magic on their side.

An uncharacteristic fear threatened to take over her heart. She knew how strong her people were and had full trust in their abilities, but that only mattered in physical battles. The barbarians weren't much good against magic.

"That's it," she said to herself. She was not going to just stand here like some fragile flower while her husband and people were facing dangerous enemies. With a determined huff, she started running downstairs.

One of her female servants rushed to her the minute she got down. "My lady, you shouldn't run around like that," she said.

Brawnhilda resisted the urge to roll her eyes. As much as she loved Uncouthma and her life with him, she knew she would never get used to having servants do things for her. She had been working with the yaks since her early childhood and had taken care of others her entire life. She hated how the servants made her feel spoiled and like she couldn't lift a finger on her own anymore.

"Stop that. I'm fine!" she snapped and kept going towards the large double doors.

"Where are you going, my lady? There is a battle out there! And you can't leave the castle in your condition," the servant said in a shrill voice and followed her mistress.

Brawnhilda turned around with an angry glare. "I don't care, Sigyn," she said. "I'm not staying here when I'm needed out there!"

Sigyn placed her hands on her hips. "I know how you feel, but we must obey the tradition. We wouldn't have it in the first place if our ancestors hadn't thought it necessary. As Prince Uncouthma's wife you must show how the ideal wife should act like."

Brawnhilda only frowned. Her life had been so much simpler when she had only been in charge of taking care of the yaks and making cheese. These new responsibilities were making her feel like a prisoner in her own life.

She was just about to tell Sigyn that at times like this there were more important things than traditions, but she only managed to get one word out when the double doors flew open and men started marching in.

To both women's surprise and shock, they weren't men from Odiferous. Their body build and appearance were too thin and the armour they wore was foreign. The men were being led by some sort of officer with brighter colours on him.

Brawnhilda didn't hesitate. She grabbed an axe that was hanging on the wall. No matter what, she would defend her home against these invaders. One glance at Sigyn told her that the maid had done the exact same thing.

"Not one step further!" she ordered and lifted the weapon. If the foreign warriors were surprised to see a woman show such strength, their faces didn't betray them.

"Put down your weapon," came a voice from behind the warriors. A man stepped into the hall. His steps were confident and the way everyone bowed to him as he passed them told Brawnhilda that this man was the leader of the invaders. She noted that he had been hiding behind his men as they had entered the castle, like a common coward.

"Give me one good reason," she responded.

"As you wish," the man said. He clapped his hands together and more men entered the castle. They were carrying the unconscious Uncouthma between them. At their leader's command, they threw him on the floor.

"Uncouthma!" Brawnhilda exclaimed. She dropped her weapon and ran to her husband, kneeling by his side. She took his head into her hands and tried to get him to wake up. When that didn't happen, she turned her angry eyes to the enemy leader.

"What have you done to him?" she asked.

"Don't worry, he'll live. I had to knock him unconscious so that I could use him to stop the others. You barbarians have no idea when to quit," he said.

"You?" Brawnhilda asked. She couldn't believe that someone could have defeated her precious Uncouthma. He was the strongest man in the kingdom.

"Don't look so surprised." Then he clapped his hands again. His men heaved Uncouthma from the floor and pushed Brawnhilda back before she could try to stop them.

"I won't let you hurt him!" she snapped. She would protect her husband to the end. With an angry growl, she grabbed the nearest enemy warrior, lifted him above her head and threw him against the wall. She was just about to move to the next warrior when the leader's voice stopped her.

You do realise that we could just kill him while you trash around, don't you?" he asked. To put his point across, he ordered one of his men to press a sword at Uncouthma's throat.

"No! Don't do it!" Brawnhilda shouted and backed away from the warriors. Fighting wasn't an option now if she wanted to keep her husband alive.

"Glad to see we understand each other," the stranger said. "Take him away!" he then told his men who began to leave with Uncouthma.

Brawnhilda could only grit her teeth and promise herself that she would do something about this sooner or later. Right now, however, she had to find out what these people wanted and how to best protect her people.

"And now?" she asked, crossing her arms on her chest.

"Ah, forgive me. I'm Chadrik the Traveller, the new ruler of Odiferous," the stranger said with a self-satisfied grin.

Uncouthma is the ruler!" Brawnhilda snapped.

"You seem to have forgotten that he's my prisoner. As are you. This kingdom is mine now." Chadrik put his hands on his hips and looked around the great hall. "Horribly vulgar, of course, but that's to be expected. Once I get around re-designing everything, the changes will start rolling in."

Brawnhilda didn't know what to think. How could this man have taken over the kingdom that easily and fast? It was embarrassing to even think about it. Even more importantly, why had he chosen Odiferous and what were his plans for everyone?

- - -

Runtar turned to look when the prison door opened. Several barbarians entered. They all looked grim and most of them had black eyes, cuts and other signs of battle. The small man watched in surprise and confusion how a foreign-looking man opened the cell and pushed the barbarians inside.

"What happened?" he asked once they were left alone.

Both Torin and the young guard were among the new prisoners. The older warrior shot a glare at Runtar.

"We were defeated," he admitted.

Runtar blinked. That kind of bomb of information was difficult to digest. For all his life he had been certain that his people were the strongest warriors in the world. Everyone else in Odiferous believed the same, and losing in battle was simply something that didn't happen.

He noted that while the other barbarians were hurt, their injuries were very minor. They should have been able to continue fighting. It could only mean that they had had to surrender. He knew it was impossible, and his mind refused to wrap around the fact.

Torin probably saw the confusion on his face because he continued, "They got Uncouthma."

"Is he dead?" Runtar asked at once. He didn't know what to think. Three months ago he had gone through so much trouble to get rid of the ruler, and now someone else might have done it with ease. It hurt his pride a little.

"Don't get too excited. He was only captured. We couldn't keep fighting because they would have killed him," Torin said. His voice turned into an angry growl and he smashed his fist into the prison wall.

"So, what's going to happen now?" the young guard asked. Runtar noted that he looked oddly timid on this side of the bars.

"I don't know, Sighard," Torin told the other man.

"The enemy is probably going to take over the entire kingdom. That's going to be difficult. Our people aren't used to giving up and we won't settle with a weak foreigner ruling us," one of the other barbarians said.

"You forget that they have Uncouthma. As long as they keep him alive and imprisoned, few will have the courage to oppose them," Torin pointed out.

"Uncouthma wouldn't want us to give up because of him! We should have kept fighting!" a barbarian named Barnak said.

"What did the enemy leader look like?" Runtar asked. He was completely ignored by the other barbarians who were now getting into a heated argument about what they really should have done.

"What about Brawnhilda? They could have hurt her if we hadn't stopped!"

"They could still hurt her!"

"Hello?" Runtar asked and waved his hands at the others. "I asked you a question!"

"What?" Torin asked, finally turning to look at him.

"Finally," Runtar said. "I asked what their leader looked like."

"Why do you want to know?" Sighard asked sceptically.

Runtar snorted. "You forget that I was Uncouthma's advisor for years. I know everyone who's something in the surrounding kingdoms. I might recognise the man," he said and lifted his head with pride.

"It would be the first time you’d be useful," Torin muttered.

"Don't be so gloomy. Maybe he can help," Sighard said. He turned his attention to Runtar. "I didn't see him well, but he was tall and wasn't wearing any kind of armour."

"That doesn't help very much," Runtar pointed out.

"Well, no..." Sighard admitted sheepishly.

"How about the warriors? They were all bald, tanned and wore strange armour. It was so thin you could have punched through it!" one of the other barbarians said.

"No, that's not true. I tried. It's tougher than it looks," Barnak pointed out. He was a blacksmith and owned a weapon shop, so everyone trusted his opinion.

Well?" Torin lifted a brow as he looked at Runtar. "Do you know them?"

To his annoyance, Runtar had to admit that he didn't. That description didn't fit any nation he had ever heard of. It could only mean one thing.

"No," he said. "They must be from very far away."

"The leader could do magic. He defeated Uncouthma by calling thunder to his aid!" Sighard said.

Runtar rubbed his chin. It sounded like these new people were a very strange bunch. It would be interesting to see what happened next and how it would affect his life.

"We need to get out of here. We can't just sit here when our Prince needs us!" one of the other barbarians said.

"Break the bars!" someone agreed.

"You can't do that. They've been made of special iron so that they can keep a barbarian at bay. Believe me, I used to be a guard here," Sighard said. He looked miserable. The expression was mirrored on everyone else's face, until Torin came up with an idea.

"Hey, you're small! You can slip through the bars and get the keys!" he said to Runtar.

"I can't do that! I'd never fit!" Runtar pointed at the bars. "Why do you think I'm still here?"

"Oh."

- - -

Chadrik sat back on the throne with a self-satisfied grin. Everything had gone exactly as he had planned. He had known these simple-minded barbarians would surrender if he threatened their prince. There were few things he knew about Odiferous, but one of them was that the people were pathetically loyal to their ruler.

"Your men did well today," he said to his second in command, General Daunus.

The bald man bowed. "Prince Uncouthma was a worthy opponent in battle."

"Indeed, but he even he couldn't be a match for my tricks," Chadrik chuckled. "These people have no magic, so now they are afraid of me and what I can do to their prince. It shouldn't be too difficult to control them, and eventually they will get used to a new set of orders."

Daunus frowned in worry. "But what if they learn that you aren't gifted in magic? If someone discovers where your power truly comes from, we could be in trouble. My men can't hold back the barbarians if they decide to rebel," he said.

"You needn't worry about that, my friend. I have thought it through. I will keep Uncouthma and his wife as my prisoners and tell the barbarians that as long as they obey me, their former rulers won't be harmed," Chadrik said.

"Will that be enough?"

"Of course not!" Chadrik shook his head and ran his fingers through his thick, black hair. "I will re-organize everything in Odiferous. Perhaps even change the name. Once everything these barbarians hold dear changes, their will to fight will wither. In a few years nobody will want to oppose me."

He frowned thoughtfully. Of course, there was the problem that he didn't know this land as well as he would have liked to. It was risky to start ruling when he didn't even know the basic customs. He would have to find someone to help him. Maybe someone from the neighbour kingdoms?

"Do we have any foreigners here? I need someone who can tell me about this kingdom and how to break the barbarians' spirit," he said.

"I don't know. These people look all the same to me," Daunus said. Then his dark eyes brightened. "There was already someone in the cell where I took some of the prisoners. He looked like he was a local. I don't know what his crime is, but it shouldn't be difficult to convince him to switch sides and betray his people in exchange for his freedom."

Chadrik smiled. "Sounds most excellent. Have him brought to me at once. I have a feeling I may soon have a valuable ally by my side."

To be continued...