Chapter 4:
I groaned in pain as I felt myself coming too. My head felt like someone had taken a freakin' baseball to it!
I managed to open my eyes and I blinked furiously. Everything was currently very blurry. It took me a minute to get my vision back. When I did, I looked around. We were still in the stupid cave.
Aladdin was unconscious on Carpet still. Abu walked over to him and tried to wake him up.
"Oh, oh. Aladdin? Wake up. Aladdin."He said, shaking his friend to get him to wake.
Carpet rises up, lifting Aladdin up. He awakes slowly. I smiled, until I remembered the situation we were in.
"Oh, my head."Aladdin groaned as he looked around. We're trapped. That two faced son-of-a-jackal! Whoever he was, he's long gone with that lamp."
"Aha!"Abu said as he pulled out the Genie's Lamp.
"Great job Abu!"I praised happily.
"Why, you hairy little thief! Looks like such a beat-up, worthless piece of junk. Hey, I think there's something written here, but it's hard to make out."He said as he rubs the lamp.
I could barely contain my grin when suddenly smoke comes out of the hole. The lamp began to shake and glow. Aladdin held onto the Lamp and our wonderful friend, the Genie comes out. I could help it, I smiled so big I coulda given the Cheshire cat a run for his money!
"Aaaaahhhhh! OY! Ten-thousand years will give ya such a crick in the neck!"He exclaimed as he hung Aladdin on a nearby rock.
Then he pulled his head off and spun it around, yelling as he does so. Carpet pulled Aladdin down.
"Whoa! Does it feel good to be outta there!"Genie said as he used the lamp end of himself as
a microphone. "Nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi, where ya from?" He stuck the mic in
Aladdin's face. "What's your name?"
"Uh, Al–uh-Aladdin."Al stuttered.
I giggled slightly.
"Aladdin!"Genie shouted as a neon sign lights up with Aladdin's name on it, circled by chase lights.
"Hello, Aladdin. Nice to have you on the show. Can we call you 'Al?' Or maybe just 'Din?' Or how
bout 'Laddie?'"
Genie disappeared, then a dog wrapped in plaid jumps in.
"Sounds like 'Here, boy! C'mon, Laddie!'"
"I must have hit my head harder than I thought."Aladdin said, shaking his head.
"Hey, if you see a dog that was a genie only a second ago, you're not alone! I see him too."I giggled.
He smirked.
"We both must be crazy then."
"Amen!"
"Do you smoke? Mind if I do?"
Dog genie poofs into smoke, then back to the Genie. Abu screeched wildly.)
"Oh, sorry Cheetah-hope I didn't singe the fur! Hey, Rugman! Haven't seen
you in a few millennia! Slap me some tassel! Yo! Yeah!"Genie yelled as Carpet flew over and high fived the Genie.
The Genie looked over at me.
"Where are my manners! What's your name down there, pretty lady?"
I blushed slightly.
"Name's Kendra, nice ta meet ya!"I said, grinning.
"You too!"He turned back to Aladdin. "Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master."
He lifted up his beer-gut.
"Either that or I'm gettin' bigger. Look at me from the side-do I look different to you?"
"Wait a minute! I'm-your master?"
Genie slapped a diploma in Aladdin's hand and a mortarboard on his head.
"That's right! He can be taught! What would you wish of me," He turned into Arnold
Schwarzenegger. "the ever impressive." Inside a cube "the long contained," as a ventriloquist with a dummy "often imitated," He tossed the dummy aside. "but never duplicated-"
He multiplies into multiple GENIES who surround him.
"Duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated. Genie! Of! The Lamp!"
He turned into Ed Sullivan.
"Right here direct from the lamp, right here for your enjoyment wish fulfillment. Thank youuuuu!"
I giggled. He was my favorite character because he was so funny!
"Whoa! Wish fulfillment?"Aladdin asked in wonder.
"Three wishes to be exact. And ix-nay on the wishing for more wishes." He turned into a slot machine and his arm pulled down and three Genies appeared in the windows. "That's it-three." Three Genies in caballeros come out of the slot. "Uno, dos, tres"
He changed into b/w Groucho Marx.
"No substitutions, exchanges or refunds."
A duck drops with the secret word 'Refunds.'
"Now I know I'm dreaming."Aladdin said to Abu and I.
I shook my head as the music for "Friend Like Me began out of no where. I got excited, this was my favorite part of the movie!
"Master, I don't think you quite realize what you've got here! So why don't you just ruminate, whilst I illuminate the possibilities. Genie said as he lights up like a fluorescent light.
Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves
Scheherazade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeve
You got a brand of magic never fails!
Genie produced 40 thieves who surround Aladdin and I with swords. I smirked knowing nothing would happen. Aladdin kinda leaned away from them before Genie appeared in his vest, sticking his arms out and boxing the thieves into submission.
You got some power in your corner now
Some heavy ammunition in your camp
You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how
See all you gotta do is rub that lamp
And I'll say
A boxing ring appears, Aladdin in the corner, and I to the side with carpet, being massaged
by Genie. Then Genie turns into a pile of fireworks and explodes. Genie appeared inside lamp and grabs Aladdin's hand and rubs lamp with it.
Mister Aladdin sir
What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, jot it down
You ain't never had a friend like me
No no no!
Genie produced a table and chairs, then writes down things on a note pad, like a waiter. I sat next to Aladdin, watching all of this with amusement and excitement. I couldn't believe I was apart of the movie!
Life is your restaurant
And I'm your maitre' d!
C'mon whisper what it is you want
You ain't never had a friend like me.
Genie appeared as a plate of chicken, then returns to normal, but enlarges his ear to listen to Aladdin. Finally, he explodes into four duplicate Genies.
Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service
You're the boss, the king, the shah!
Say what you wish, it's yours! True dish
How about a little more Baklava?
The Genies give him a shave, haircut and manicure. Two of them were giving me a pedimedi. I giggled at the hilarity of it. Then Aladdin and I appear in a comfy chair surrounded by the treasure
and being fanned by women. The Genie appears and fills the screen with baklava.
Try some of column 'A'
Try all of column 'B'
I'm in the mood to help you dude
You ain't never had a friend like me
Aladdin and I rise up on a column of food with a giant A on top, then we jump to another column with a B on top. We fells off and are caught by a cushion held by Genie. I laughed at it.
He opened his mouth, and his tongue turned into a staircase. A miniature Genie dressed like a magician comes out. He offered me his hand to dance with him. I took it immediately.
The mini Genie and I do a little dance with the Genie's two giant hands. I laughed as I thought how I would have never thought I would be dancing with a mini version of himself and his hands.
At the end, Genie pushes me out of the way as his hands surround the mini Genie and squish him into nothing.
Can your friends do this?
Do your friends do that?
Do your friends pull this out their little hat
Can your friends go poof!
Well looky here
Can your friends go Abracadabra, let 'er rip
And then make the sucker disappear?
The Genie pulled off his head, duplicates it, then juggles them. He tossed them to Aladdin and I, we juggle together. Then we toss them back onto the Genie, who proceeds to try and pull himself out of a hat at his base.
He spirals around and around until he turns into a white rabbit. The rabbit transforms into
a purple dragon.
The dragon breathes fire, which turns into three Harem girls, who dance around Aladdin. Just as he begins to enjoy them, they disappear. I rolled my eyes at my brother.
So don't you sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed
I'm here to answer all your midday prayers
You got me bona fide, certified
You got a genie for a charge? d'affairs!
I got a powerful urge to help you out
So what you wish I really want to know
You got a wish that's three miles long, no doubt
So all you gotta do is rub like so, and oh!
Genie imitates what he is calling Aladdin, then turns into a certificate which rolls up and surrounds Aladdin and I. Next thing we know, were being rolled out. I giggled as I became dizzy. When I was able to concentrate again, Genie pulled a list {written in Arabic} out of Aladdin's ear, which he uses
to rub his behind like drying off after a shower.
Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three
I'm on the job, you big nabob
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never...had a... friend... like...me!
You ain't never had a friend like me!
The dancing harem girls reappear, and Aladdin leans in to kiss one. I rolled my eyes again but laughed when she turned into Genie and Aladdin kissed his cheek. Aladdin jumped back as genie zaps four dancing elephants into existence.
The other direction, he zaps in four dancing camels, and a grand finale dancing number ensues. I danced and giggled with Aladdin. Abu grabs as much gold as he can, but the Genie wraps everything up in a cyclone and zaps it away until they're all back in the cave.
Genie has a neon "APPLAUSE" sign on his back. Abu turns his hat over and sees that is is empty. He grumbled disheartened as Carpet and I both clapped excitedly.
"That was so much fun!"I told Carpet.
He nodded back.
"So what'll it be, master?"Genie asked Aladdin.
"You're gonna grant me any three wishes I want?"Aladdin asked in disbelief.
"Ah, almost. There are a few provisos, a couple of quid pro quos."Genie said as he turned in William F. Buckley.
"Like?"Al and I pressed.
"Ah, rule number one: I can't kill anybody." Genie said as he sliced his head off with his finger. "So don't ask. Rule two: I can't make anyone fall in love with anyone else."
Genie appeared next to me and his head turned into a big pair of lips which kiss used to kiss my head. I giggled and blushed.
"You little punim, there."
He went back over to Aladdin and laid flat, then gets up and transformed into a zombie.
"Rule three: I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture," He grabbed
Aladdin and shook him. "I don't like doing it! He poofed back to normal. "Other than that, you got it!"
Aladdin looked at Abu, as if plotting something, and I knew what was coming. I never liked this part of the movie. I didn't want to upset Genie.
"Ah, provisos? You mean limitations? On wishes? Some all powerful genie-can't even bring people back from the dead. I don't know, Abu-he probably can't even get us out of this cave. Looks like we're gonna have to find a way out of here-"Aladdin said.
He looked at me and begged me to follow along. I shook my head at first, but he gave me a puppy dog look. I groaned.
"Yeah, I guess he'll be no help, c'mon guys."I said, waving them forward.
We started to leave, but as I knew would happen a big blue foot stomps down in front of us. I winced slightly.
"Excuse me? Are you lookin' at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up, did you bring me here? And all of a sudden, you're walkin' out on me?" he said as he got madder and madder. "I don't think so, not right now. You're gettin' your wishes, so sit down!"
We all get on Carpet. Genie took the form of a stewardess, with lots of arms pointing out the exits.
"In case of emergency, the exits are here, here, here, here,here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, anywhere! Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet. Weeee'rrrrrreee...outta here!"
The carpet took off to the air. I shrieked at the sudden movement and grabbed the closet solid thing, which just happened to be Genie.
I blushed slightly when he looked at me.
"You okay?"He asked.
I nodded.
'Yeah, just not a fan of flying."I admitted.
He nodded in understanding.
"Don't worry, I'm here to catch you if you fall."He promised.
I smiled and nodded before hugging myself closer to him. He stiffened at the sudden change, but relaxed.
"Thank you."I said as I felt my eyes getting heavier from a long day.
"No problem."He said gently.
I felt myself lose to the darkness and I allowed it to swallow me up as I dropped into unconsciousness, knowing I'd be safe with Genie there.
Biggest Wish by XxRebelWriter